She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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