I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
