Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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