So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
