well I can't set my house on fire every night
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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