Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize