what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
