Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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