i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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