It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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