ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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