I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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