my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
