My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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