plz talk dirty to me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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