Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
