i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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