OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
