She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
