hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
