So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
