everyone is single if you try hard enough
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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