Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
