So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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