is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this just has baby written all over it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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