I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
