i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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