Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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