I will die if light touches me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
