who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
