How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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