well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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