I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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