Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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