I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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