omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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