Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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