You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
