She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
