remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.