Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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  (204): I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right? http://tfl.nu/emft
  Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
  Replies (21) Good night (507) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

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  (402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618
  Replies (49) Good night (5418) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  after a month anything with tits is on the radar

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  (832): after a month anything with tits is on the radar http://tfl.nu/wbqo
  Replies (12) Good night (778) Bad night (3473) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
  Replies (18) Good night (3169) Bad night (4469) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  God wants them to get laid too.

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  (267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces? (484): God wants them to get laid too. http://tfl.nu/23cz
  Replies (59) Good night (7883) Bad night (1322)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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  (401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs
  Replies (15) Good night (1065) Bad night (5519) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2293) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami

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  (+44): he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami http://tfl.nu/r6ze
  Replies (22) Good night (1059) Bad night (3768) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?

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  (817): not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You? http://tfl.nu/m5ki
  Replies (7) Good night (2490) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.

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  (619): The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer. http://tfl.nu/kgnu
  Replies (23) Good night (1788) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..

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  (336): I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain.. http://tfl.nu/5env
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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  (952): He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy. http://tfl.nu/1isp
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class

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  (204): She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class http://tfl.nu/61qs
  Replies (8) Good night (431) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world

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  (416): Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world http://tfl.nu/enih
  Replies (10) Good night (244) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt

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