You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
birth control should be required to get into college
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.