Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.