Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Randomize
Follow @tfln