Christians are straight up FREAKS
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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