I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
