The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
