I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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