can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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