People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
