To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere