I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.