Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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