I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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