I want to make a zoo with you.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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