So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You were trust falling into bushes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize