She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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