I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
