when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
